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Thursday, February 10th, 2005
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So the past almost 2 1/2 months have just been simply AMAZING. Specifically the last month, i've just been having so much fun its unbelievable. Its seriously the time in my life that i want to just move in slow motion and go on forever, like there were times in which i thought i was completely happy, but looking back on those... this by FAR surpasses it.
ahh... im just ♥ happy ♥
Anyone who talks to me about him can tell how much i care for him, they also know im not near ready to tell him that i love him, because i dont feel ready to... and i ABSOLUTELY love it! To be this happy and not even in love... its amazing... just makes me look foward to what is to come.
MY THEORY
I believe relationships are broken into thirds:
1/3 being the friendship portion
1/3 being the romantic portion
1/3 being the or physical part
when any of those supersedes the other, thats when relationships don't seem right or start to go downhill.
iono....just a thought
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Thursday, January 13th, 2005
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For those who do not know... Mike asked me out on Christmas
For those who are friends with Jerrad can hate me all they want
You don't even know how he got
Would you like to be called 15, or more times a day to have someone tell you how much of a bad person you are?.... how about those lovely voicemails and text messages i recieved while hanging out with Mike when we were friends... oh yes those were a blast!
"You fucking slut!, what? you cant respond, are you too busy fucking him?!?!, yeah, just go suck his dick you nig" - the words of Jerrad himself
now let me tell you, as GREAT as those made me feel, i had someone who was nice, good to me.... wasn't obsessed or jelous, not in it for some either, and he wanted to be with me. But not only that, but he told me he would wait around until things cleared up... and yanno what? I'm happy. Plain and simple. I'M HAPPY.
And if those people who are Jerrads friends, who i would have liked to consider mine as well a couple weeks ago, cant be happy for me because of him... then i chose the wrong friends
but before you judge me... what would you have done?
before you answer that... lemme tell you this... i was in the hospital and i had a break down and started freaking out when i woke up and tried to pull the iv outa my arm and whatnot... so my mom took my cell phone and called Mike and he calmed me down... made me breath and wasted his minutes while he was with his friends on the phone with me until i got out of the hospital... jerrad did know i was in there because he was too busy feeling bad for himself and calling me names and being a slut to me to even ask how i was....
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Monday, December 20th, 2004
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i got sick thursday and went home from school early....
.... stayed home sick on friday
at about 10:00pm on sunday
... my grandpa died
i broke down and bawled my eyes out right there at the work party
needless to say i left about 30 minutes after cuz i couldnt handle it
shes back in florida....
.... wont be home for christmas...
i dont get to spend christmas with my family
my car wouldnt start this morning.... for 2 hours.....
when it did.. the heat didnt work
i dont think ive ever had to try this hard to be happy and fail this badly
i wish i could just wipe away the tears for good....
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Monday, November 29th, 2004
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So Nicole and I are driving and ::ring:: there goes my phone, its mike....
(51 seconds later)....
BOOM.... ugly old Bonnieville with equally as ugly and older man hits me....
i cried
i cried
and
i cried
i was scared... Nicole was as well, but as the sweet friend she is, she tried calming me down, instead of freaking out like me(i ♥ you lots)
my mommy drove nicole home, and my brother drove with me to make sure i was okay....that was after i got the ticket and order to appear at court on december 14th.... sweet. so im getting 2 points on my license if they dont drop it..... grrrrr
<i ♥ you too... thanks babe>
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Saturday, November 6th, 2004
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just curious
1.) What do you love about me?
2.) What do you hate about me?
Leave a name
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Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
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for $5 bucks ill give you my parents...
yanno what? better yet...keep your money, ill pay you.. .PLLLLEASE TAKE THEM!!! oh come on people, i think im a pretty damn good friend when you're in need! help out a pal?
♥ Kimmie ♥
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Thursday, October 21st, 2004
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surgery tomorrow morning.... 9:45....
cant eat after midnight, and wont be able to
for a couple of days
im eatin a lot now!!
i ♥ you!!
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
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So im sittin here... enjoying my tea, hehe!!
(unintentional rhyming there)
like somehow you dont belong
I'm a wife and mother of Oedipus in the book....
creeeepppy...
and no one hears you screaming
i would have to say that i am in a dramatically better mood
nothings really changed, except the car isnt being sold... except by me
im just sick of my family's major suckage
so i ignore it
to be left out in the dark
whoooaa, amber is the color of your energy
whoooaa, shades of gold displaying naturally
anyways, i need to write this paper that was due today
or add to it...
i'll catch you cats and kittens later!
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Friday, October 15th, 2004
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So i danced with Jerrad at homecoming, all of 2 times... my mom FLIPPED... i got to leave homecoming at 10:45... wow i am SWEET! and then i get home feelin all cool and im told that im a screw up, they are selling my car, and i wont have priviledges for a long time....
....then my parents decide that they are douche bags and take me and drive to jerrads and tell his parents and he that if we talk outside of school they will charge him with statutory rape... before that talk, i started to walk away and my stepdad walked after me and told me if i didnt stop he would beat me, and grabbed me by my arm as hard as he could and dragged me half way across the yard.
next morning.... talkin with my mom in her bathroom and i tell her i cant take the bus cuz i havent showered, she grabs the same arm hard as well and is like lets go, ur gettin on the bus, and i ask her to stop cuz it hurts and she smacks me... hmmm so that awakens my stepdad and he decides that since im standing by the door thats half way open to get angry with me and shove open the door, cut my heel and bruised my back...
this morning.... i go to call my mom who is awake but in midland and mike tells me not to, he says "the only person who will call your mother is the cops because you're all dead."....well thats just neat-o
so guess what?!?! according to them im a deciever, i lie like im 3, i need deep therapy, i am ignorant, irresponsible, AND arrogant!! so they call the therapist and tell her i want to come in and talk to her... we had a lovely talk today, and im so fortunate to see her on monday too... SCORE...
great parents i've got....
i need to get a job, save some more money, and get another car and then im gone... im fucking gone... but if they touch me once more ill fucking call the cops, or child services, maybe both.
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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| Time: | 3:31 pm. |
| Mood: |  ugh. |
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Not looking foward to homecoming....
...ill end up eating at my house and going with my mom when she leaves for it
i wanna crawl outa my skin
everyone's welcome to come over and get ready here..
...come if you want
all the things i shoulda said
therapists suck, im glad mines on vacation
all she does is interrupt me and im like die
thats what u get for falling again
im not a very friendly person, ive come to realize
i come off as a bitch, not an attractive quality
i guess its so that i dont open up or let anyone in
wish it was raining cuz i hate every beautiful day
sorry guys i try to be happy and write happy entries
i do, i try, but its not working... iono what to do
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Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
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I don't ever wanna be like you
so i got bored and made a collage..... hmmm what do u think??
You can handle your own affairs
"Beauty is just short-lived tyranny."
I'm not sure what to do about stuff right now, so i'll just eat.
I almost cried, just so frustrated, im not mean to anyone else, joking or not, im tired of it. It gets old. first time its a lil funny, 2nd its stupid and 3rd its gettin old and after 2 days u can just fuck off.... ok?
sorry for wasting your time
yes, im okay, a good cry'll do it
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Saturday, September 18th, 2004
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| Time: | 6:41 pm. |
| Mood: |  pizzaaa. | | Music: | t.v. |
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jus some pics to look at...
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Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
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| Time: | 3:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  hmmm. | | Music: | your own disaster. |
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so i have an ovarian cyst...
thats why i was in so much pain last night.
WOW those things suck...
and its not gone...
i must monitor it.
dont keep me waiting
homecoming: 3 weeks
people change but life goes on
i cant get mad or upset
if i do this cyst will explode
which all mounts to more pain
must stay calm
back and knees are hurtin too
hunny this mirror aint big enough for us both
im fallin apart... ur gunna find pieces of me....
ur gunna be walkin down the street and find an arm
or my love handles by the stairs... or my butt in
ur yard...I DONT WANT IT... DONT TRY TO GIVE IT BACK!
i walk around in the summer time sayin how bout this heat?
got my school pictures... my eyes are really blue
but they came out okay.... so its all good.
i dont understand people, eh, im over it!
<3kimmie
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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
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when i touch you
can you feel it?
birthday party in Taylor...who woulda thought that since she was 80, almost everyone else at the party was around that age?
-"wow, i remember when you were this tall"-
-'yeaaaah, me too!'-
:::"you guys keep growing up, it makes me feel old":::
:::'thats cuz you are':::
I sware its my last time
IM GETTING SICK!!! OH NO.... MAKE ME ALL BETTER!!! FIX ME!!! pweeease?? id be forever in your gratitude....
when i fall will you catch me?
got a homecoming dress... its creme-ish gold... and like the 6 before, simple, elegant, with some rhinestones...nothing poofy, thats not my style
A-SS-HO-L-E
don't give up.... things are bound to get better in some aspect of your life, the troubles and down-spots are only temporary and will clear up... im sorry you are going through a tough time, but just stick in there, and remember that kimmie's always here to listen, or give advice if you ask for it...theres always someone who will make you happy in these times... find that person and talk to them... k?
....its what i feel when your not around
NICOLE I LOVE YOU!!!
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Friday, September 10th, 2004
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when i wake up, yes i kno im gunna be, im gunna be the one who wakes up next to you
So 6th hour im a T.I.E.S for a biology class of all guys... they all ask me to be their tie... EVERY DAY... aaah boys are interesting
sometimes i park in handi-cap spaces while handi-capped people make handi-cap faces
i plan on spending the next two years in my house, in trouble... WAIIIITTT no, i lied, i can go to homecoming and Prom, neither of which i want to...i do math 4 u::
homecoming </br> + no date </br> = Kimmie no go
i kno exactly what goes on
Cris will come move in with me and sleep on my top bunk and then we will run reaaalllly fast and get on a plane and go to italy... it would be sweet.... but nooooooooo hes gotta be a booger and live in New Jersey... psssh... i will kidnap him... YES GOOD PLAN cuz i havent been there in a while... i will shove him in my suitcase when i fly back....EEXXCEEELLLENNNT!!!
....its my last time
2 words: nuclear FUCKING weapons
OHHHHHHHHHHH SHOT DOWN!! <-- haha im a LOOOOOSSSERRR
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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
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| Time: | 10:54 pm. |
| Mood: |  yeah. |
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goin to my grandmas this weekend....
things are pretty shitty right now
i wish i were dead
im always the one to talk people outa thoughts like that
but i cant deal with it anymore
physically
emotionally
or mentally
i puke up my food
cant sleep....well here and there on teh b-room floor before i puke again
i was called a slut
skank
asshole
bitch
moron
and a fucking idiot
by the one who raised me
had things thrown and kicked at me
been ignored
asked if i kno what a baseball bat can do to my legs
why you ask?
my sister told something...why is beyond me...
i kept sooooo many of her secrets... but i guess that dont matter
lost my best friend too....
EXCELLENT...JUST FUCKING EXCELLENT
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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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well since everyone else is postin their schedules i figure why the hell not
ap euro
ap lit
ap bio
foods
trig
ties
i can cry if i want to
it is 12:25am on august 25th....yepp...its officially my birthday! woot woot...
happy birthday to me ::does a lil dance:: happy birthday to me....cha cha cha
registration sucked cuz i had to wake up...i didnt feel like showering so i made myself look pretty and showered when i got home....well maybe 5 or 6 hours after that.
got a card from my dad...nothing in it...but i should be so fortunate for that asshole to even remember....not gunna call him or thank him because i want him out of my life... the only time i will EVER see him again to to see my lil brother....he turned 5 in july.... breaks my heart to stay away
family is comin over tomorrow for cake and ice cream....if u wanna come over your welcome...iono what time it is but 248-529-6327 will give u the answer...even if i aint home...
OO OO im excited....
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Monday, August 16th, 2004
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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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10 more days until my birthday..... my sister is grossing me again with her questions about doing things...im like come on...figure it out on your own, i had to... plus shes older.... i mean how many people do you know who's older sisters ask them about how to give head?
im gunna roll with the top down seat back, rollin in my cadillac
i think im havin a party for my birthday... who should i invite????
hung out with nicole...went to jamies...lots of people, then joe nicole and i went to taco bell...and back to jamies and then he took us home...i paid sean gas money and he didnt take me anywhere, haha oh well, he says he will pay me back, but if he tries i will run away!
much luv!
.kimmie.
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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wow...im still sorry for that even though we are okay
.kimmie.
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kimmie_acious's journal
i am a nerd!!.
*yawns*.
its hard to be happy.
wooow.
bah.
sweeet.
just ah..
hmmm quixotic.
KAZAAM!.
WOOPIE!.
brrrr.